I'm Sorry Naurah

Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad mother. A very bad one T_T

Usually I felt like this when my one & only Naurah had any accident due to my negligence. 

Last night, Naurah fell down & her inner mouth is bleeding badly. Yeah. Quite bad until the tissue I used to wipe her mouth is fully covered with her blood. When habi sees  the blood, he became dizzy. I saw him like want to throw up. I knew that he cannot see lots of blood. He's a hemophobia.

My heart pumped uncontrollably. I felt dizzy & my face turned to white. I felt chilled all across my body & habi quickly asked me to pass Naurah to him. I really felt like I'm going to pass out. This had happened to me twice. Once when Naurah experience her first febrile fits. And last night is the second one. 

I'm so afraid that I might loose my one and only dauthter & it makes me want to pass out.

This morning I get to see that her lower part of  lips (inner) is wounded badly. Once she open her eyes from sleep, she put her finger on her lips and said 'sakit'. I apologized to her again and again. I really felt sorry for her. I'm a bad mother, Naurah.

Its all because of my negligence =( If I didn't left her all by herself playing with her milk tins, the accident might not occurred. Yeah. I know some of you might say that its a fate. But the fate can be changed if I pay more attention to her right?

Habi didn't scold me at all but advice me to pay more attention to Naurah. Don't leave her to play all by herself again and always keep an eye on her whereabouts.

I promised myself to be a better mother from now on. May Allah help me. Amin.

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